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Showing posts from November, 2023

11034 Sagevalley Drive 1967 - 1969

I don't know how long we wre in the Pasadena apartment,  maybe a month or two, when my parents bought their first house. It was in the Sagemont subdivision on what was the southern edge of Houston. It seemed like it was built primarily to house the NASA people being hired to put man on the moon. Our house was about a mile back into the subdivision and there were only a few streets completed south of Sagevalley. It goes on for miles and miles now but back then it felt like we were on the edge of Texas wilderness.  The house was a 4 bedroom ranch style home. Herbert and I had our own rooms for the first time. I desperately wanted a pink room but I think mom was worried I would have outgrown that desire so she did my room in yellow. I remember the address still because I was on the porch with mama and the real estate lady and heard the agent say the zip code was 77034 and the way the numbers were written on the house the ones looked like sevens so I thought the street address and...

When we first moved to Houston we stayed in an apartment in Pasadena, either called Redbluff Apartments or maybe just on Redbluff road. I only have one memory of living there. I had a stuffed doll with a plastic face I named Dolly. The apartment was on the second floor and I remember Herbert holding my doll over the railing, teasing Mr, and he said "Wanna watch Dolly fly?" and he threw her over the rail. I ran fir her screaming and crying. Her face was all cracked and I put bandaids all over the cracks but of course she never healed!! Herbert seldom was really mean like that and he always felt terrible after. I loved my dolls and toys. I believed they came alive while I slept and sometimes would pay close attention to where they all were before falling asleep to notice if they had moved during the night. I remember having a stuffed poodle that somehow came off and I kept the head for years grieving her. I suppose I forgave Herbert for throwing Dolly. I'm sure he didn't understand my deep feelings for my dolls but still, that was cruel, wasn't it?

Failure

Depression evaluations ask if you feel like a failure like that feeling means there is something wrong with you. The fact is that there are people who fail, some who fail at everything they try to do. Should those people not Feel It? Should they find a magic pill to take so they don't feel it? Live in total denial?  I know for a fact that you can look back at every endeavor or dream and Know that you failed to accomplish any of it.  I had Big Dreams and plans for my life. I went through deciding some things had to Wait. Wait until the kids were grown or at least less dependent.  Wait until I had more money.