Santa Maria 1965 1966

We moved to Santa Maria when Daddy started working at Vandenberg AFB in 1965. The two years we lived there were some kind of magic for all of us. It was definitely Mom's favorite place we lived. All her life she reminisced about the 70 degree year round weather although I don't think that was quite accurate. The boys and I had friends there that we remembered forever. We lived in a three bedroom little house at 503 E. Grant Street. The front yard was a garden and there were flowers growing all around the edges of the fenced back yard. On the west side of the back yard next to the house there was a sand pit about 8 × 4 feet that went as deep as we could dig. There was a double garage to the left of the front of the house. Along the north wall Daddy had a work area where he tinkered with different hobbies and invented and built things. He made Herbert a computer that could answer Yes and No questions, and this was way before most people had even heard of a computer. He also made an elaborate cigarette rolling machine that was about 5 feet long on his work table. The best part for us kids was something the boys must have made. The washer and dryer were at the back of the garage. There was a length of garden hose tied from one rafter to  another and we would climb up on the dryer swing from the hose and land on a stack of mattresses. We mostly spent our days in the amazing outdoors in Santa Maria but this was great rainy weather fun for us!! 

Our world was breathtakingly beautiful. All of the houses in our neighborhood had 8 foot cedar fenced back yards and we would walk along the top of the fences helping ourselves to the fruit growing in all the yards. The most amazingly delicious fruits I have ever eaten!! And not just for the Stolen Fruits Are Sweeter thing!! 

We rode our bikes everywhere including to and from school. I went to Rice Elementary,  I don't remember the boys schools, but I remember Herbert would sometimes hold my hand and pull me along when I was too tired to pedal home. 

Kids my age built elaborate forts out of tumble weeds in the fields. I've never seen a tumble weed since California. 

Our neighborhood ended several blocks north of East Grant. There was a cement factory back there with huge pits where the cement trucks would empty their leftover cement at the end of the day and I'd go there with the boys and we'd run and slide in the wet cement. Beyond that was a fenced area where there were several horses corralled.  That was my first time to be around horses.  I dreamed of hopping on one and riding bareback but never got up the courage. 

Beyond the corrals there was a foot trail we could ride our bikes on to a freeway. I only went beyond there a few times with my brothers. There were mountains on the other side of the freeway, maybe the San Gabriel Mountains? and there was a tunnel, maybe for drainage? that went under the freeway. We would leave our bikes at the entrance, walk under the freeway, and go up in the mountains exploring, the most amazing exploring I have ever done. 

I remember a tar pit that we didn't get close to that had an old car partially submerged in. Our best discovery was a riverbed, that's what the boys called it, that was a big flat area where the dirt was flat and cracked and there was a small lake beyond it. I learned to skip rocks there using the flat discs of dirt. We found a crude raft someone had built and would use a long pole to steer us out into the water. I'm not sure about the boys but I couldn't even swim yet. Mike took me out on the raft once and Herbert jumped from a 3 foot bank to the raft to scare us and we all went flying into the water. We struggled together to get to the shore and sat there realizing for the first time how dangerous the things we did were.

I have one memory of going to the mountains that I am not sure of how or why I was there. I remember being alone and terrified trying to get home. Maybe I had been with the boys and turned back on my own although it seems unlikely they would let that happen. But I remember getting to the tunnel under the freeway, looking through it and being too scared to go through it alone. There was a chain link fence on either side of the freeway and I decided it would be less scary to climb the fence and run across the freeway. I got over the first fence and stood there heart pounding waiting for a good break in the traffic and ran for it.  My pants got caught on the wire at the top of the second fence and they ripped almost in half when I lost my balance and fell trying to get loose. I crept into the house and changed pants and hid the torn ones in the bottom of the trash so I wouldn't have to explain. I never told anyone and never crossed the freeway again.

Santa Maria was where I first had my feeling of premonition. I was playing alone in the yard around the flowers in the backyard. There were flowers and fruit trees everywhere in California seen. It was a sunny day and I was in a squatting position looking at the flowers when a dark feeling came over me, darker than anything I had ever known. The feeling went all through me and seemed to settle in my gut somewhere. Throughout my life I would feel that feeling many times again and again. I don't believe that I was in anywhere near death that day but I have always felt it was a premonition of the darkness that was some day to come into my life.

We all had neighborhood friends.  Across the street lived the Chandlers. They had a daughter, Joanne, my age and a boy, Mike, Herbert's age. A few doors down from then were the Anderdons. I believe the father,  Bill, worked with Daddy at Vandenberg. I think there was a boy Herbs age, Brad, and a girl my age, Nancy, and a toddler named Pamela. Pamela had something wrong with her hips and wore a metal brace that kept her knees apart. She was like the neighborhood pet that we all looked out for. 

She also played a part in the first social trauma i experienced. 

Right now i cant remember the name of the people who lived next door to us. It might come to me later. I remember the son, Bill the most. There were some things seriously wrong with Bill. 

Bill was a hulk of a kid and he and Mike got in a fight out front once, the only fight i ever saw Mike lose, and Bill almost killed him. All i really see looking back at it is Mike on the ground with his head on bricks in the ground at an angle around a garden and Bill jumping on his head while I screamed until help came. 

There was bad blood between our families after that, or maybe it was just me?? I dont know. I just remember hating all of them and getting all the kids in the area to join me in tormenting them. Mostly name calling and mean notes left on the door. 

It was also my first experience of forgiving. The mom was named Beverly. I would call her a pig whenever I saw her. Then one day I was watching her and suddenly felt terrible about targetting her because of Bill. I drew a picture of a pig and a woman and labeled each, wrote that I knew the difference and was sorry and left it on her door. Later I was passing by and she ran to me and picked me up in a huge bear hug with tears running down her cheeks. I cried too, experiencing the full beauty of forgiveness for the first time.

Beverly and I became close after that. She had a 9 month old baby and she taught me how to care for him and then amazingly trusted me to babysit him for short periods of time.  I was a paid babysitter at 8 years old!! Dang I was proud of that!

I wish the story with this family could end there but it does not. 

They had a wading pool in their back yard that we would all go splash around in sometimes.  There were several of us out there one day and Bill was filling the pool and spraying everyone when Nancy showed up with baby Pamela. Nancy was standing there holding Pamela's hand watching and Bill offered to watch Pamela so Nancy could get in the pool. I got a dark feeling and watched Bill with Pamela and when I saw him take her in his house I knew Pamela was in trouble. I crept to where I knew Bill's bedroom window was and peeked through the curtain slit. He had Pamela on his bed taking her clothes off. I didn't say anything but ran as fast as I could to the Anderson house and got Mrs. Anderson.

I go blank after that. The ensuing chaos is just a blur. I know Bill was sent away and I never saw him again. I know that Beverly didn't hold it against me because I remember her writing me letters for years after we moved to Texas.

This event deeply marked me all through my life. I always pray that he didn't hurt Pamela before help got there and that Pamela was young enough to not remember it at all. It would be years before I would wonder how I knew what was going on. Before I would connect it to the fact that I was being abused. 

That was all very hard to write. I dont think I have ever told anyone any of this.

Daddy got some kind of promotion at work and we started looking at bigger, better, houses. We would be written about in the local paper for buying the biggest house ever sold in Santa Maria. All I remember is what was supposed to be my room. It was upstairs and had a balcony. Herb and i had always shared a room before.

Before we could move in Daddy got another job offer. I think he had become a hot commodity because of the Space Race. NASA was calling all Geeks to put man on the moon and Daddy was a genius engineer.

I also know now that he had a Very Impressive fake resume. I stumbled upon it years later in Mom's things. It listed several college degrees and outstanding recommendations.  There was no internet to look people up, faking a past was fairly simple. Daddy dropped out of school after 6th grade. No one ever knew because he did know as much and more than most PHD's.

Daddy flew to Houston, got the job, rented us a temporary apartment and came back to drive us to Texas.

All of her life Mom talked about how the whole neighborhood crowded into the street to see us off, waving and cheering and crying. 

Even with the tragedies there,  Santa Maria was the best part of our family's life together. 503 East Grant became a shrine in our memories.