To Say

 I always felt like I had a lot to say, to share, and that "some day" I would have the time and ability to write or speak what was in my mind.

I've had the time and opportunity for over a year and can find nothing to say. I don't know if it is connected to my general memory loss or if I just never really had anything to say. It is gone except for the memory of Knowing Something. 

There have been things that have silenced parts of me. Almost erased parts of me. Finding out my children's perception of me and others perceptions of me and how different those were from my perception of myself. For many years I thought my girls would "outgrow" their negative feelings about me, that when they grew up or had their own children they would See that I was at least was always trying, hoping, I was doing what was best for them. For all of us. I had a wide circle through most of my life. I connected with and tried to help everyone I came in contact with. I truly Loved human beings and believed all had good in them. I believed very strongly in Purpose of Life and often felt that I was living up to mine just by being and sharing myself. It sounds grandiose like that but it really wasn't. I felt humbly just a part of it all but once in a while I felt blessed to be instrumental in the world.