Being the Puppet Master

 Was it good or bad? Maybe just Better.  A necessity when I was married to Steve.  He "went tharn" when confronted with choices, decisions, changes. ("Tharn", "Watership Down", 'like a deer in the headlights')  Now we just call it Being the Matriarch.  That's what a life of being the puppet master made me into.  I do not Choose It any more if I ever did.  But especially now,  in my old age.  I am glad to still have the ability to run the show but I would gladly hand the reins over for my Golden Years. I constantly look for a way out of this job but no one can or even wants to take over.  I would have handed it all to Jeremy like he wanted me to if he had been even a little bit capable.  Jess can pretty much run the house but has no clue really how to keep up with the bills or deal with collectors or anyone.  Jami is still lost in a world of methamphetamine and the characters associated with that.  Oh no.  No. No. Jeanette becomes the only choice but she sure isn't jumping at the opportunity, and who can blame her? I hoped Jenise could grow up to be capable but she doesn't even want to control her own household. She has completely given Phillip the reins and doesn't even see where he drives them.  Well, right now he is driving them to his family in Kansas. Jenise might someday "come into her own" and take over or Phillip might get his footing still someday.  She is barely an adult.  A lot of time for growth there. I don't know about Phillip.  I do love him but it can never be unconditionally.  If he ever lays a hand on Jenise or hurts her in Any Way the love would end. I don't know how much he actually plans how their lives go. They are moving to Kansas because they can't afford to live here. Where their rent is $800 a month and Phillip makes more than Jeanette. Jeanette pays $1400 in rent and supports 2 teenage boys. I don't remember how old Phillip is but I believe he is close to 10 years older than Jenise.  Males mature much slower than females but he should be the adult version of himself by now so we aren't waiting for him to grow up.  He was hugely in debt when he met Jenise and paying $500 a month to drive a Rogue (plus full coverages insurances for it!), no different from Taylor, who we all derided for buying his fancy car.  Philip's Rogue was repossessed. He did that irresponsible criss-cross job swap. He told me,  even after that,  after he was back at his original job with a pay cut, that Jenise didn't Have To work.  That he could support them. Oh and they filed bankruptcy after she got pregnant but before Elliot was born.  So he wants to move home for help.  I guess it matters what kind of help he gets from his family.  I doubt it will be what he really needs to be an independent man caring for his own family.  

At one point I made Jenise the Executor of my estate.  Then I saw that she completely lets Phillip run their finances and I had to end that.  I hope she grows up to run her household.  I don't know that Phillip can learn to.  If he had a mother like mine he would Not be coddled and taken back in when he fell down! 

Jeanette. Come take the reins. You will Have To when I die. There will be more money to help you all if you take over ASAP. That last sentence is a disaster. Stopping for now .